Poems that are HELPING me right now...

I found a website a little while ago that has some poems and things to help or express the pain of a miscarriage or relate to it. I like them a lot..here are a few of my favorites..


Please
PLEASE - don't ask me if I'm over it yet. I'll never be "over it."PLEASE - don't tell me he/she's in a better place. He/she isn't here.PLEASE - Don't say "at least he/she isn't suffering". I haven't come to termswith why he/she had to suffer at all.PLEASE - don't say "well, you're lucky...he/she would have been born with a lot of problems."Would you love your own child any less if they had been born with problems?PLEASE - don't tell me you know how I feel unless you have lost a child/infant.PLEASE - Don't tell me to get on with my life. I'm still here, you'll notice.PLEASE - don't ask me if I feel better. Bereavement isn't a condition that "clears up."PLEASE - don't tell me that "God never makes a mistake" or it was "God's will."You mean he did this on purpose?PLEASE - Don't tell me "at least you had him/her for _____yrs/days/months.Or "at least you have/or can have other children/babies.Or, "at least you know you can get pregnant."What year would you choose for your son/daughter/pregnancy to die/end?PLEASE - don't tell me God never gives you more than you can bear.Who decides how much another person can bear?PLEASE - just say you are sorry.PLEASE - Just say you remember him/her or my pregnancy/our excitement if you do.PLEASE - Just let me talk if I want to.PLEASE - Just let me say his/her name without turning away or changing the subject.PLEASE - let me cry when I must.
by Rita Moran


When You Are Bereaved...
When you are bereaved... It is ok to...Scream in the shower,Yell in the car,Pound on the steering wheel,Cry anywhere you like.
When you are bereaved... It is ok to...Misplace little things like your glasses or car keys.It is also possible to misplace big things...Like your car.
When your baby dies... It is ok to...Still feel kicks,Hear a baby's cry when you are alone,Feel your arms ache,Avoid other peoples' newborns.
When you are bereaved... It is alright to...Get lost at the mall,Put milk in the cupboard,Put toliet paper in the refrigerator,Put ice cream in the oven.
When you are bereaved... It is ok to...Find a punching bag,Beat up your pillow,Throw stones in the lake.It is ok to...Talk to yourself,Talk to your baby,Talk to your pets.
After your baby dies...You can say "no" to others.You can cancel plans that you are not up to doing.You can have a bad day.
It is ok to hurt.It is ok to grieve...
From The Empty Arms Newsletter, March, 1999 in Erie, PA

The Future Holds Many Surprises

There was this quote that someone once shared with me. "Things are never as bad as they seem or as good as they appear." I'm not sure who said it but I can say that I agree with them. Things get us sometimes whether it be not having enough money or not winning that contest that you entered. Things just tend to build up and get us down. This week for me it's my kidney stone. Jeez Louise it hurts. I've had to do cat scans and all sorts of stuff. I hate it. So I let it get me down but here's the thing, everything that happens leads us somewhere. My miscarriage is giving me a 2nd chance to be whoever it is that God wants me to be. Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes we think that the popular kids or the dorky kids have perfect lives because they are friends with everyone or have the best grades in school. However, don't you think that both of those things are very stressful? Who really wants the pressure of trend setting and having the best parties or getting A's on everything you do? Not me. So see the future hold many things for all of us. The popular kids usually aren't so popular and the nerds usually are some big hot shot and they have some big corporation to run or something. However, the average kids...they do lots of stuff too. We write poetry or are really good with computers or whatever and we have futures too but no one know what they are supposed to do until it hits them over the head.