Can't I move on already?

My name is Brittany. I am 18. My boyfriend calls me Snowflake. One of my friends just had her baby yesterday and I'm very very happy for her but today when I went to the hospital to see her and her new daughter it opened some very serious wounds. In September, I had a miscarriage and I really thought that I was doing well and most of the time I am but sometimes (like today) I can't do it and I want to curl up in a ball and sleep forever. Serenity Hope was born on September 25th 2008. I was approximately 14 weeks along and it was probably the most painful thing that I have ever experienced. So while I was holding my friends newborn daughter I had all of the memories of all the things that I had planned to do with my daughter flood my mind. Satan was definitely attacking me. He was telling me that I was missing out and that I shouldn't be happy for her and everything. I am though. I'm sad for me but I'm happy for her. The thing is that just when I think that I'm okay, I fall apart. They tell me that the reason I lost my daughter was genetic. However, my mother (who helped me deliver my daughter in her bathroom at home) said that she looked perfect. That she looked just like a person only the size of Thumbelina. My heart aches for her now. I wish that I could have saved her. If God would have let me take her place that day I would have done it. I just want to move on. Remember, but move on. I loved her beyond belief already. She was my constant company. I just want to move on. It hurts. They said if I'd been at 20 weeks then they might have been able to do something. Wow, it kills me to think that we were so close and yet so far at the same time. I yearn for her more and more lately. I think it's because I'm getting closer to what would have been my due date (April 9th, 2009) and all of my friends seem to be pregnant. I wish I could have held her. Just for 5 minutes. I'm so sad today. I can't stand days like these. Can't I just move on already? I don't want to forget her. Just get on with my life and feel less pain. Is that too much to ask for?